My life lately

Who cares about what's going on with my life anyway? Well, I do. Writing down my feelings actually helps me put certain things in perspective. It's been tough: I feel disappointed, it seems like that my plans and dreams are not even close to coming true or is this spring blues talking instead of me? I feel like this every time some big changes are about to happen and I am quite afraid of change. Actually, I am terrified. I am tired of putting on a brave face and acting like I am all strong and tough when I am not. I cry like a little baby, I am tired and exhausted. And you know what? That's perfectly OK. I am human. By the way, why do I feel like a narcisstic, self-absorbed looney while I'm writing this? I shouldn't. Putting down my feelings on "paper" feels good. It's all that matters right now. To feel good.
My life lately looks like this:

• gathering boxes and moving supplies, packing, selecting, decluttering, feeling emotional and sad.
• lots and lots of popcorn making. caramel ones are for me.
• kids watching a lot od TV and DVD's. Feels wrong and selfish, but I am soooo busy I can't really devote much time to them. yeah, I know, that doesn't make me a bad mother. I do hug them and kiss them all the time, we read a story or two, take small walks to the bakery. I'm not much of a "fun mom" these days.
• a lot of tea drinking. tea really helps me relax and unwind. I love my 5 o'clock tea ritual, it's soooooo English. Throw in a couple of tea biscuits and I'm in heaven... at least for a while.
  
• not having much sleep. 'Nough said.
  
• watching Rachel Khoo's cooking show The little Paris kitchen. Très charmant!
• listening to Lenka. I can't seem to get this song out my head.
• thinking about all the cooking and baking that has to be done for Easter. Greek Orthodox Easter is celebrated on April 15th. I'll cook lamb and garlicky potatoes, tsoureki, salads and chocolate cake. Hopefully, we'll have a good time.

There. I feel better. And hopefull. Thanks for listening.